For those uninitiated, Milka is a Swiss chocolate company headquartered in Germany, where the chocolate is also produced. They kind of remind me of what would happen if Cadbury and Lindt had a glorious milk-chocolate-bar child—that is to say, famous for being creamy, European, and dressed in pretty, pretty purple.
On a November 2022 episode of Good Mythical Morning, Rhett & Link set out to determine “der beste” of the 31 Milka bar flavors they could get their hands on, and, boy, did these bars look good (TBH, Rhett & Link liked all of the flavors at least a little bit). So get your chocolate-imagining hats on and let’s crack in!
- Chocolate Mousse
This bar was delicious, just not quite as good as the original or the filled ones, so it didn’t make the top four. This one is neat, though, in that it is soft like there’s mousse in the center! Rhett & Link both really liked it, especially the first time they tried it.
Link loved this one because it is so fun the way the mini Oreos poke all the way through each section of the candy bar (with a cookie on top and a cookie on the bottom). The sheer “technology in chocolatier-ing these days” impressed both guys. This bar had R&L wondering, “Can [Milka] even do this?” It just seemed too good to be legal, I guess.
This one has a layer in the middle that’s white. Just visually speaking. Link actually didn’t like this one as much as the other front runners below, but the fact that he liked it at all impressed him since he typically doesn’t like “caramel-flavored stuff.” He even allowed it to be placed above the Oreo flavor (which, mind you, he loved). Both Rhett & Link agreed that this was just a really solid caramel flavor.
Rhett was “very fond “ of this one. Link called it “a surprise” and “a subversion of expectation.” After wondering aloud if it would contribute to his gut biome (I mean, priorities), Link commented on its tangy yogurtness, which Rhett agreed was SUCH a pleasant surprise.
- Alpine Milk Chocolate
You’re not going to go wrong with this one, the original. Link immediately said, “This is really nice,” upon trying it. In the end, the guys decided that this was such a perfect expression of a chocolate bar that it was deserving of the win and the title of “der beste.” Rhett typically prefers dark chocolate, but when he considered this bar not versus dark chocolate but in the world of milk chocolate, he was super impressed.
As for runners-up: Extra Cocoa tasted…well…like it had a bit of extra cocoa, and Rhett LOVED it. Rhett also loved the Peanut Crispy Caramel, but Link hated it because it tasted like toffee, a flavor he doesn’t like. They both liked the Alpine Milk Creme as well.
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!