This New WWE Drumstick Is an American Dream

There are few art forms more quintessentially American than professional wrestling. While WWE isn’t the only professional wrestling company in town, it’s certainly the largest—and you can walk through the grocery store to prove it. WWE branding is plastered on Slim Jim displays, Minute Maid Juice, and C4 Energy–with more to come. Starting next month, we’ll see professional wrestling icon “The American Nightmare” Cody Rhodes on his very own box of “Red, White, and Blueberry” WWE Drumstick Sundae Cones. Not too bad for a kid who grew up during hard times.

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What’s different about this WWE Drumstick?

The “Red, White, and Blueberry” WWE Drumstick sundae cone features a waffle cone packed with strawberry ice cream and a blueberry filling. That fruity pairing is coated in a white confectionary coating and crispy rice pieces–just like what you’d find in a CRUNCH bar (or on one of Drumstick’s CRUNCH sundae cones). That’s right, these are one of the rare peanut-free Drumstick offerings. With a super fruity core and no chocolate nuttiness to balance it out, I worry these WWE Drumsticks might actually be too sweet.

When can we get our hands on Red, White, and Blueberry Drumsticks?

Per the brand, these fruity new WWE Drumsticks are hitting shelves in 4-pack boxes starting April 6th exclusively at Walmart. Drumstick is sending over an early box to yours truly; stay tuned to Sporked for my review featuring just as many wrestling references as this article.

Which WWE Superstars should get their own frozen dessert next?

I was put on this earth to answer this question. In the late 1980s, the Gold Bond Ice Cream Company produced a wildly popular line of wrestler-branded ice cream sandwich bars. They’ve bounced on and off store shelves ever since, but in 2011, wrestling iconoclast CM Punk started a fan movement demanding WWE put him on a new batch of those ice cream bars. While WWE didn’t acquiesce to the fan pressure, they did release a T-shirt featuring CM Punk on an ice cream bar. If WWE wants to do what’s best for business in the ice cream aisle, they need to finish the CM Punk Ice Cream Bar story.

Once we’ve righted that cosmic wrong, there’s a few other obvious suggestions. The very nice, very evil Danhausen has the perfect face for a colorful fruit-treat bar à la Spider-Man. Je’Von Evans would be a great hype man for those bouncy Trolli Gummi Pops. And maybe that lame duck Drew McIntyre can get his face on those freezer pops that cut the sides of your mouth open and ruin your day.