The Worst (and Absolute Best) Holiday Energy Drinks at Target, Ranked

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If you went to Target around Black Friday, you may have seen an endcap full of new energy drinks—each shelf dedicated to a different brand’s limited edition holiday flavor. I did the due diligence of trying every single energy drink in this display because I’m a lunatic. Ranked from personal least-to-most-favorite, here’s your guide to Target’s new girliepop energy drink offerings.

Gorgie Sparkling Cranberry Party Pop Energy

This is certainly cranberry, but the party is not popping. Gorgie is one of a new breed of brands (including Unwell, which we’ll cover later) making Target their launchpad to reach women nationwide. I’ve tried a few of their standard flavors and I definitely prefer them all to this seasonal offering. This drink is made of sparkling water bitterness, cranberry tartness, and absolutely no fun.

Benny Lightly Sparkling Sugar Plum Fairy Energy

As I recently learned, “sugarplum” and “sugar plum” are two different things. Benny, a rare unfamiliar energy drink brand, has decided to create a third definition just to complicate my life. Per the brand, this drink is “a juicy plum and mochi-inspired flavor.” Benny’s energy drinks are packed with adaptogens and relatively light in caffeine. As for the flavor? It’s almost nice—until you hit a distinct “functional” flavor that I’m chalking up to the yerba mate, lion’s mane, and ginseng.

Unwell Frosted Cranberry Energy

Of the “indie” energy drinks being offered on this endcap, Unwell’s first ever energy drink is my favorite. While I’m unsure if I actually like this drink, it’s definitely pleasant. The cranberry is tame—almost too tame, but considering I had the polar opposite a few cans ago, I’m not complaining. The unique kicker for this drink? It’s made with real cranberry juice and cane sugar. Overall, this has me very excited to see what Unwell has in store for this new energy drink line. (Stay tuned for my review of their new protein-added hydration line.)

Red Bull Winter Edition: Fuji Apple & Ginger

As I said in my full review of these drinks, Red Bull’s newest Winter Edition is a fantastic red apple flavor—no matter whether you get it in full sugar or sugar free. While I prefer the full sugar to the sugar free myself, the sugar free still clears almost every other zero-sugar energy drink available in this unique new category of “energy drinks aimed at Target moms.”

Alani Nu Winter Wonderland

Here it is, folks: Alani Nu’s second Winter Wonderland formula is the best zero-sugar holiday energy drink at Target. Where Gorgie’s authenticity goes hand-in-hand with an unpleasant tartness, this is the perfect balance of magically delicious artificial fruit that feels so wintery. For my extended thoughts, check out my full review from earlier this year.

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About the Author

Griffin Parker

Griffin Parker is a writer, "influencer", and generally very-busy person based in Columbus, Ohio. He's sacrificed countless hours in the pursuit of ranking Lindt Lindor truffles, HI-CHEW candies, and more. When he's not writing for Sporked or running @SodaSeekers, you can find Griffin espousing the virtues of Dayton-style pizza, Cincinnati-style chili, and Dolly Parton's Fabulously Double Fudge Brownie Mix.