The New Alani Nu Energy Is A Circus In Your Mouth

Back in December, I broke the news that Alani Nu was planning a revival of one of their earliest energy flavors. Over half a year later, I have my hands on one of the most highly anticipated new energy drinks of the summer. Let’s find out whether this tastes like fruit-flavored candy or candy-flavored fruit.

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Alani Nu Purple Cotton Candy Energy Review

New Alani Nu Energy!

Pros: I’ve had some very authentic grape energy drinks before, and this is anything but–in a good way. Alani Nu Purple Cotton Candy Energy is grape hard candy in a can. Just like Alani Nu’s original Cotton Candy Energy, this drink somehow totally nails the texture of cotton candy, but without any of the generic sugar flavor that gave me flashbacks the first time around.

Speaking of sugar flavor, Alani Nu still gets huge credit for being the best in the business at covering up any artificial sweetener taste. This brand in particular is so many people’s go-to just because it’s the best zero-sugar option that still tastes like sugar.

Cons: The original Cotton Candy Energy from Alani Nu both earned and lost points with me for being so accurate. This new variant can’t decide whether it wants to be cotton candy or grape hard candy–a positive if you’re not the biggest fan of either one on their own, but still a little confounding once the drink’s flavor has settled in your mouth.

One thing the internet seems united on is how close this drink is to cough syrup. I don’t have any particular nostalgia or trauma when it comes to grape Dimetapp; based on how aggressively some folks are decrying this new flavor, I must be a lucky one.

Credit: Griffin Parker / Alani Nu

Rating:

7.5/10

Sporks

What’s the next new energy drink coming from Alani Nu?

For the first time in a long time, I don’t know! The retail calendar that leaked late last year didn’t reveal any new flavors past this one. We are expecting the caramel apple-ish Witch’s Brew and wildly inconsistent Winter Wonderland to return during their respective seasonal periods closer to the end of the year; beyond those returns, it’s truly anyone’s guess as to what Alani Nu will debut next.

Here’s a scary thought: Alani Nu may need to start thinking about subtracting flavors rather than adding them. The total flavor count has ballooned over the past two years to 14, by my count; are people truly buying enough Cosmic Stardust to warrant that flavor sticking around? Would it be better served as a FOMO-inducing seasonal flavor or club store exclusive? (Here’s a pitch that will never happen: Alani Nu, OREO, and Mountain Dew all commit to selling their space-themed products with passionate fanbases at the same time. Let’s create a Hallmark holiday for space.)