There are few things that say more about a person than what cereal they would be if they were a breakfast cereal. Yes, astrology is a thing, and also, you know, “who they are as an actual person” is a thing, but if you tell me someone gives you “Fruity Pebbles vibes,” I already know exactly who that person is and have already followed them on TikTok to watch the pure chaos unfold. But because I’m potentially the only person who works in cereal brands instead of star signs, today I’m going to connect the two and let you know what cereal you are based on your zodiac sign.
Aries: Frosted Flakes
Aries are ambitious, bold, and love to win, and there is no cereal more winning than Frosted Flakes. Tony the Tiger is the buffest mascot of all the cereal mascots, arguably has the most rizz of any being ever, and constantly reminds us all how grrrrrrrrrrrreat Frosted Flakes are. Tony is a winner. And so are Aries.
Related: The Best Cereal for Marshmallow Treats
Taurus: Rice Krispies
Tauruses are calm people. They love soothing and serene sounds, surroundings, and aromas. Well, riddle me this, what sound bath could ever be more soothing than a bowl full of Rice Krispies and milk just pspspspspspsps-ing along on the table in front of you until your heart rate slows and you reach cereal-induced meditative enlightenment? No sound bath. Metal bowl thing with stick could never.
Related: All the Best Cereal We’ve Tried in Our Taste Tests
Gemini: Trix
Geminis are spontaneous and playful, impulsive at times, and always super busy. You know who else is all of those things? Kids! And Trix are for kids (and Geminis). Why? Because they are vibrant, playful, colorful, cute, and deliciously fruity, and while some might pooh-pooh them for their chaotic, child-like vibe, most people think they are a rare and special treat, just like Geminis are a treat to be around.
Related: The 7 Best Fruity Cereals
Cancer: Krave
Cancers are very intuitive and great at reading others but don’t often let others past their outer shell. This is why they have to be Krave. Everyone likes them and thinks they are super cool, but they do have that hard outer shell you have to get through before you get to the gooey chocolatey inside. But once you do get to that innermost layer, it is one of the most unique attributes of any cereal out there and it just makes you appreciate them even more.
Related: An Updated List of the Best Chocolate Cereal
Leo: Count Chocula
Leos are passionate, dramatic at times, fiercely loyal, dramatic, fiery, dramatic, and some would even say theatrical or maybe even dramatic. That all being said, there is no more famous and theatrical cereal than Count Chocula. My mans has a whole background story and everything, and there’s an entire spooky season of the year during which he gets all the cereal-related attention. Plus, as an added bonus, the cereal actually tastes good, too.
Related: An Updated List of the Best Chocolate Cereal
Virgo: Honey Nut Cheerios
Virgos are logical, systematic, practical, and very, very busy. So first you would think they are plain Cheerios, the most logical cereal. But here’s the thing: they are also perfectionists. And since everyone knows all Cheerios need in order to be absolutely perfect is just a hhhhhint of sweetness, you know Virgos are Honey Nut Cheerios. They get the job done and make it fun.
Related: The Best Whole Grain Cereal
Libra: Honey Bunches of Oats
Libras are like the avatar (Last Airbender, not blue people) of astrological signs because they truly do restore balance to the world. They love harmony, justice, and all things in equilibrium, which is why they have to be Honey Bunches of Oats, the most well-balanced cereal on the planet. What’s more balanced than Honey Bunches of Oats? Nothing, I tell ya. It is the perfect cereal.
Related: The Best Whole Grain Cereal
Scorpio: Lucky Charms
Scorpios are wise, elusive, and mysterious. And while my first thought was Fiber One since it is eaten by ol- … ahem … wise people and it’s elusive in that it never sticks around in your body for long, I changed my mind. No one is more elusive than Lucky the Leprechaun. I mean have you ever seen a Leprechaun in real life? No, you haven’t. because they are all Scorpios and lead lives shrouded in myth and mystery. Also, marshmallow-containing cereals are always the wise choice.
Related: The Best Cereal for Kids
Sagittarius: Golden Grahams
Sagittariuses are always on a quest for knowledge and adventure, and I remember when I was growing up that Golden Grahams always had the best mazes, riddles, and trivia on the back of the boxes. If you can’t wait for your daily adventures to start to the point where you have to begin adventuring at breakfast by doing the activities on the back of a cereal box, you are probably a Sagittarius, and thus you are Golden Grahams. Plus, these things taste simply divine.
Related: The Best Whole Grain Cereal
Capricorn: Frosted Mini-Wheats
Capricorns are known for their patience, perseverance, and dedication, three things you need when you eat the glorious textural symphony that is Frosted Mini-Wheats. Why do these Wheats take such patience? Because you cannot eat them right when they hit the milk. You have to wait for them to get a little soft before they have that good good Mini Wheat texture, where they outside is crispy but the inside is bursting with sugary milk. This cereal was made for Capricorns.
Related: The Best Whole Grain Cereal
Aquarius: Eggo Maple Flavored Homestyle Waffle Cereal
Aquariuses are progressive, innovative, and revolutionarily creative. Hear me out: no one needed waffle breakfast cereal. We have waffles (which are great) and we have cereal (also great) which are perfectly good on their own. And yet here we are. Eggo Maple Flavored Homestyle Waffle Cereal exists and it is fantastic, showing us that we need Aquariuses in our lives to show us that just because something works the way it is, that doesn’t mean it can’t be improved upon with a wacky, left-field idea.
Related: All the Eggo Waffles, Ranked
Pisces: Oreo O’s
Any empathetic person knows how much adults just want dessert for breakfast. It is our wildest fantasy. And seeing as how Pisces are so intuitive and empathetic, they would know that fact. Pisces also love living in fantasy and reality at the same time, and if that doesn’t describe this literal Oreo cookie-flavored cereal perfectly, I don’t know what to tell you.
Related: An Updated List of the Best Chocolate Cereal
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Maybe there is something to this astrology thing. Rice crispies are indeed my favorite cereal on this list. Couldn’t help noticing the lack of fruity pebbles though; they’re like flavored rice crispies! Guess I should’ve taken an astrology class instead of observational astronomy as a random elective.
100% right! 😎 I would love to try frosted mini wheats, they seem perfect for me but I don’t live in America 😂
Lazy inaccurate article – overall and especially in the graphics – the bowls are all the same, just the boxes change – a definite miss
OMG! Gemini here. These over processed cereals are not healthy. Never ate them as a kid and won’t. No hits.
OMG! Sugar laden over processed cereals are not healthy. In addition, this Gemini dislikes all cereals listed in all the signs. Never touched them as a kid and won’t. No hits.
Rice Krispies? The cereal that goes soggy almost immediately? The one that has no flavor? Taurus are better known for being indulgent than calm, so I feel Rice Krispies is a definite miss.