In the spirit of partnership, Love Is Blind and International Delight have joined forces to bring us three romance-themed coffee products: Chocolate Covered Strawberries Creamer, Wedding Cake Creamer, and Wedding Cake Iced Coffee. New International Delight coffee creamers are always exciting, but a reality TV-inspired new coffee creamer is a real wild card. Will these flavors be a match made in heaven? Or will they give us the ick?
I was really looking forward to tackling these new coffee creamers, and not just because I’m a coffee lover (I am; total bean freak here). Right now, I have a captive audience to whom I can direct a lengthy, surely-to-be-edited-down, embarrassingly passionate diatribe about how love is not, and never will be, blind. The entire concept behind this completely inane reality TV show only serves to ensure disappointment and heartbreak on both sides. Sure, you can put on a blindfold for a blind taste test and fall in love with food you’ve never seen. But you can’t fall in love with the idea of a person! It matters what they look like, simply because people do not know how to manage their expectations. They will envision the hottest person alive, and then they will meet a human being, and it’s all downhill from there.
Now that my voice is hoarse from all that yelling, I’m going to warm it up with some sweet, creamy coffee. Hopefully these new International Delight coffee creamers won’t be as disappointing as the look on season one Jessica’s face when Mark walked into the reveal.
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New Coffee Creamer!
International Delight Chocolate Covered Strawberries Creamer
We tried both of the new International Delight creamers with a medium roast. In my experience, fruity coffee creamers are pretty hard to pull off, but I was hoping this would hit the right balance of sweet, creamy, and bright berry.
Pros: The fruity strawberry here comes through, and it isn’t too off-putting. It has a strawberry milk flavor that sort of reminds me of the Mean Girls Pink Frosting Creamer, but with a hint of chocolate. I’m actually not sure if that belongs in the pro column or not (we, uh, didn’t rate that Mean Girls creamer very high). But sometimes it’s easier to love the familiar.
Cons: There simply isn’t enough chocolate! And without chocolate, where is the decadence? Where is the romance? If you really want any chocolate-covered strawberry flavor to come through, you’ll have to brew some beans that lean heavily into dark chocolate notes. I’m sorry, new International Delight coffee creamer, but I can’t marry you. You weren’t the person you said you would be. Au revoir.
The whole Sporked team couldn’t wait to try this wedding cake-flavored creamer—we haven’t seen a new coffee creamer like it before. Still, unlike our Love is Blind contestants, I tried to manage my expectations before I tasted it.
Pros: If you squint your eyes and swirl this around in your mouth, yes, you get notes of vanilla wedding cake. (Which typically has an almondy flavor, as well.) There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it—the flavor is cozy, warm, and not too sweet. It’s like sweet cream coffee creamer, but a little cakier. It’s not that concentrated, either; even if you pour a good amount into your cup, you can still taste your coffee.
Cons: Like most weddings I’ve ever been to, it’s simply unmemorable. (If you’re reading this and I have been to your wedding, don’t worry! This does not apply to you! Your wedding was beautiful and stunning! Congratulations on finding love! xoxo)
My goal was to take one sip of this iced coffee and start dreaming of my own wedding. Which, to be completely honest with you, reader, I have never done. Not a fan of the institution, myself. I’m realizing I may have been the wrong person to review these new coffee creamers. Welp, what’s done is done.
Pros: International Delight Wedding Cake Iced Coffee is for people who can’t stand the taste of real coffee. If your Starbucks order is more than ten syllables, you’re gonna love it. It’s honestly pretty yummy, but it tastes like ice cream and frosting. It’s creamy, smooth, and fairly thick for a coffee drink.
Cons: To repeat: The coffee, like Tom’s presence at the altar in the UK season one finale, is not in the room with us.
Ariana Losch is a Sporked contributor, webcomic writer, java junkie, and bad TV enthusiast. She only ever feels at peace laying out on a beach like a kebab, roasting in the sun; sadly, she can never move back to Florida, her home state, because there simply isn’t enough good Mediterranean food. You can find her overstaying her welcome at just about every LA coffee shop, working on a screenplay and avoiding all eye contact. (She is embarrassed to be there, please leave her alone.)
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