What Lunchbox Snack Are You Based on Your Zodiac Sign?

Listen up, people! Whether you were someone who always had a coveted, tradable lunch at school, or you were one of us pretzels, fruit, and sandwich girlies, you made it through. We made it through. We’re adults now. We can get whatever we want and put it in our lunches, and that means you need this list of what lunchbox snack you are based on your zodiac sign. Take it from me, things are no longer out of whack because this week we’re tellin’ ya what to pack—that’s right, we’re back, with a much-awaited lunchbox snack zodiac.

Aries (March 21-April 19): Cheddar & Sour Cream Pringles

If you had Pringles in your lunch growing up, you were popular. Pure and simple. And if you had Cheddar & Sour Cream Pringles, well then, you were likely both popular and the best. Say what you will about Aries folks—they know how to win people over, and they know what Pringles flavor is best.

Read the full ranking of the best Pringles flavors

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Pita Chips

There is an inherent calmness to pita chips. Is that logical? No. Can I explain it? Also no. Will I try to? Absolutely not. But I can with 100% certainty say that I have never been anxious while eating a pita chip, and that is saying something. Much like pita chips, Tauruses also tend to be calm and soothing. Plus, they fit in well in many different social situations the way pita chips can make any dip a home run.

Read our ranking of the best pita chips

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Trail Mix

Geminis contain multitudes and you know what else does? Good ol’ fashioned gorp. Geminis, trail mix, and the internet are all, in the immortal words of Bo Burnham, “A little bit of everything all of the time.” And Yes, Bo. We are interested.

Read the full ranking of the best trail mix

Cancer (June 21-July 22): Tortilla Scoops

Cancers always have the tea. The hot goss. The scoop, if you will. And why is that? Because Cancers are so caring and empathetic that people tend to spill the metaphorical guac and salsa that is their love life, fears, and dreams right into Cancers’ waiting tortilla scoop ears. They won’t tell other people your secrets, though, don’t worry…but they could. And that is the power of the tortilla chip. And also Cancers.

Read our ranking of the best tortilla chips

Leo (July 23-August 22): Flamin’ Hot Cheetos

I mean, if a kid had Flamin’ Hot Cheetos in their lunch, was there a single kid who was not eyeing them, weighing what they could pull out of their boring, everyday lunches to trade that might one day win them even a single fire engine red nugget of spicy, corny goodness? No, there was not. Every kid was paying attention to the holder of the Cheetos, and if that isn’t Leo as heck, I don’t know what is.

Read our ranking of the best Cheetos flavors

Virgo (August 23-September 22): Babybel

Virgos are nothing if not efficient, and Babybel cheese is a protein source, a salty snack, and a toy (wax!), all rolled into one, tiny wheel. Babybel is the only cheesy snack food/fidget toy combo on the market right now, and that is very Virgo of it, I do believe.

Read our ranking of the best snacking cheese

Libra (September 23-October 22):Welch’s Fruit Snacks

If you ever tried to make a perfectly balanced fruit salad, I’m sure you realized that it is kind of tough. The watermelon pieces are too big, the blueberries are too small, it’s difficult to get a perfectly balanced scoop. That’s why Libras know that the most perfectly balanced fruit salad out there is, in fact, a handful of Welch’s gummies. They have berries, citrus, grapes, other grapes (it is Welch’s after all), and peaches, all somehow living harmoniously in that gloriously fruity smelling little packet (side note: gloriously fruity smelling little packet was my nickname in high school). Libras are the queens of balance in the fruit salad of life, and Welch’s gummies are the queens of balance in the fruit salad of the culinary world.

Read our ranking of the best fruit snacks

Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Baked Ruffles

To be perfectly honest, I’m making this match because my brother is a Scorpio and he is OBSESSED with Baked Ruffles (yes, the plain, original, salted ones). Now if that seems strange or mysterious to you, that would be pretty on brand, because Scorpios are the most mysterious and hard to read of the signs, but they are also known to be strangely intense about specific things…like insisting the best chips (ever, out of all of them) are Baked Ruffles. Now, don’t get me wrong. Baked Ruffles are great, it’s just the specificity of it all that strikes me as very Scorpio.

Read our ranking of the best baked chips

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21):  Pretzels with Some Kind of Dip

Sagittarians want adventure. Intrigue. Twists and turns around every corner. And let me tell you, pretzels are the vehicle that can take you there. I know. Whattt?! Aren’t pretzels a bit…boring? Not so. And here’s why: You can put whatever you want on them and switch it up whenever you want. Whether it is mustard, hummus, blue cheese dressing (highly recommend), frosting, salted caramel, or your grandma’s hand lotion (cannot recommend)—you can change the tone of your entire lunchbox by keeping the carb vehicle constant and changing out the dip. It’s choose-your-own-adventure snacking and Sagittarians love to choose their own adventures.

Read our ranking of the best pretzels

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): The Iconic Ritz Handi-Snacks with the Little Red Spreader Thingy

These things are essentially a home-cooked meal and I will die on that horse and bet on that hill. When you take the time to slather a Club cracker-shaped Ritz cracker with spreadable cheese and give it to your loved ones, that is an act of service and love and it takes time. Capricorns are patient and loyal and are thus the exact people who would take the time to do this. And while, yes, I am aware that Ritz has since gotten rid of that strangely appetizing-looking red stick that used to come nestled in these packs, I think the sentiment still stands.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Fruit Roll-Ups with Tongue Tattoos

Much like Aquarians, these are fun, quirky, and they make a statement. The statement in question? “Heh, etheebubbyy! Look at my thung!”

Read our ranking of the best fruit roll-ups and fruit strips

Pisces (February 19-March 20): Tate’s Chocolate Chip Cookies

When it comes to sweet things, there are Pisces people and there are Tate’s cookies. When it comes to who I want to eat my lunch with, I can honestly say I’d be glad to spend my time with either the sweet, complex, nostalgic Pisces or the sweet, complex, nostalgic Tate’s chocolate chip cookies. And if I could eat Tate’s at lunchtime with a Pisces friend? Even better.

Read our ranking of the best chocolate chip cookies