6 Products We Can’t Wait to Try in April

Psst. Hey you. Ever wanted to try dill pickle mustard? Or a chip that tastes like a BLT? How about milk…that’s blue? Well, now you can! And we’ll be right there with you, because frankly, we have nothing better to do. Trying all the weird and wacky products that come out every month is kind of our job. Here are six things on the docket for April we can’t wait to get our greedy little hands on. (Excited to try Star Wars Blue Milk, we are.)

Blue Milk 

Whether or not you’re a Star Wars fan, the words “Blue Milk” will inevitably evoke some kind of emotional response in you. Fear, confusion, disgust, excitement, or, in my case, pure childlike wonder. According to the official press release, Blue Milk (courtesy of TruMoo) will be, quite simply, a vanilla-flavored milk with blue food coloring. In the Star Wars universe, the drink has only ever shown up in one scene—Episode IV: A New Hope, when Luke Skywalker talked to his Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru in their kitchen about a droid carrying an important message. Somehow, it still made a memorable impression on audiences and quickly became a cult classic. If you’ve ever been to Galaxy’s Edge at a Disney theme park, they also sell Blue Milk at milk stands—but that’s a frozen blend of coconut and rice milks. TruMoo’s Blue Milk, hitting stores April 17, will likely taste much simpler. 

Churro Oreos

Oh, Churros Oreos. Churroreos, if you will. Supposedly, these will taste like “fried dough flavored” cookies on the outside and churro-flavored creme on the inside. And no, Churro Oreos aren’t strictly new to the scene—Oreos released these once before, but under the guise of a limited “Mystery Flavored Creme” that promised a $50k grand prize to whoever guessed the flavor correctly. Despite the chance to win thousands of dollars, these really weren’t received favorably the first time around; when Oreo finally revealed the flavor was churro and not some other cinnamony concoction, people were downright confused. When Rhett & Link tried them, they actually tasted mint and lemon, two flavors that have no business associating with churros. We’re hoping Oreos has revamped the Churro Oreo recipe a bit—if not, feel free to refer to our ranking of the best Oreo flavors

Bubbies Churro Flavor

Seems like April is a big month for churro-flavored foods! We’ve had other flavors of Bubbies mochi ice cream before and liked them, but this will be our first time trying the churro flavor. (And our first time trying churro mochi…ever?) This is kind of a win for the gluten-free crowd—I imagine it’s not easy to find churros or churro-flavored desserts that don’t contain gluten. But hey, that’s the beauty of mochi

Takis Buckin’ Ranch

Takis is back with another non-spicy flavor (a relatively new thing since they unleashed Intense Nacho into the world): Takis Buckin’ Ranch. If you’re picturing Cool Ranch Doritos but rolled up into a lovely little tube, well, same. If that sounds as good to you as it does to me, well, I’m loving that we’re on the same wavelength. Am I concerned they might just be a little boring compared to other new Takis flavors? Sure. But if any snack brand can add a little extra umph to an otherwise generic flavor, it’s Takis. (I just have one question: Why “buckin’ ranch”? It’s uncomfortable. My brain goes to mechanical bull rides and inappropriately gyrating cowboys. Is that what they want? Was that the plan all along?!)

French’s Dill Pickle Mustard

Yeah, we’re not going to be calm about this. I know I have disparaged the pickle-flavor phenomenon in the past. (I just want pickles to be treated with the respect they deserve, not as an easy cash grab, okay??) But I’m genuinely thrilled that this exists, y’all. There are, surprisingly, many uses for pickle mustard, from tuna sandwiches to devilled egg potato salad. Yum yum yum. I’m putting my full faith in you, French’s. Don’t let me down.

Regional Lay’s Flavors: West Coast Crunchy Taco, Midwest Fried Pickles, and East Coast BLT Sandwich

Three new regional Lay’s flavors have dropped: West Coast Crunchy Taco (okay), Midwest Fried Pickles with Ranch (sure, sure), and East Coast BLT Sandwich (…hmmm, alright). Yes, we’re fully freaking out about this, but I have a couple of thoughts. First: Lay’s described their Midwest Fried Pickle Chips as “creamy” (among other things). What does that entail, exactly? Obviously I’m not going to bite into a chip and taste something wet. Will it be coated in an extra layer of ranch dust that gives it a creamier texture? Also, I’m a little skeptical of that East Coast BLT Chip—I’m sorry, guys, I just don’t know if I’m fully on board with a chip that tastes like a sandwich. A chaotic part of me wants to try the chips while eating a BLT, just to see how I feel about the whole experience. Out of all of these, though, the taco chip definitely has the most mystery. Which part of the taco will it taste like the most? Beef, sour cream, cheese…dare I say, lettuce? Is it still a potato chip or will I get a hint of tortilla flavor? So many questions, all soon to be answered. Stay tuned!

About the Author

Ariana Losch

Ariana Losch is a Sporked contributor, webcomic writer, java junkie, and bad TV enthusiast. She only ever feels at peace laying out on a beach like a kebab, roasting in the sun; sadly, she can never move back to Florida, her home state, because there simply isn’t enough good Mediterranean food. You can find her overstaying her welcome at just about every LA coffee shop, working on a screenplay and avoiding all eye contact. (She is embarrassed to be there, please leave her alone.)

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