Cinnamon Toast Crunch (CTC) is the “it girl” of the cereal world, and you can’t convince me otherwise. Everyone loves her, she’s downright fantastic, and her little mascots eat each other for some reason (no seriously, it’s one of the strangest ad campaigns out there). But besides being cannibalistic, these sugary, cinnamon-y “crazy squares,” are also known for something else: awesome innovation and product collabs. The iconic cereal brand has given us churro-shaped CTC, Fuego (spicy) CTC, a CTC-flavored Swiss Miss hot drink mix, Cinnadust seasoning blend, and Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Just this week they announced a Tres Leches Cinnamon Toast Crunch coming to stores soon. Much like Lowes, they truly never stop improving. But like all good things, their list of good ideas has to come to an end someday, and if I can push that day even even further into the future, I will do my level best to do that. So, General Mills, creator of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and purveyor of a good chunk of the cereals on shelves in the U.S., here are my six new ideas for Cinnamon Toast Crunch—do with them what you will.
- Bottled Cinnamon Toast Crunch Horchata
By gosh, this sounds divine. I mean who wouldn’t buy this? Partner with Rice Dream or some other major rice milk brand and give the world what it deserves: ice-cold CTC horchata straight from the fridge. It would be sweet, cinnamon-y, creamy, and rice-y, not to mention unique. There isn’t a whole lot of ready-to-drink horchata sold out there, just sayin’. Plus, imagine this in a bowl of CTC. Delicious CTCeption.
- Cinnamon Toast Crunch Oreos
I am very surprised this hasn’t happened already given that Cinnamon Toast Crunch has collaborated with pretty much every brand under the sun and Oreo seems to be scraping the bottom of the barrel to find new flavors. These two were meant for each other. They deserve each other. And we deserve them. Together. Imagine a Cinnamon Toast Crunch-flavored cookie with a Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal milk-flavored cream? Ugh, I’m salivating. Yes, CTC has a cookie mix with Betty Crocker and Oreos had a cinnamon bun flavor back in 2016, but nothing recent of note from either of these guys, so I say there’s no time like the present.
- CTC Pringles
Sporked managing editor Gwynedd Stuart told me that she would like some CTC Pringles up in this reality, and, you know what? I couldn’t agree more. But they would have to still be salty. The combo of salt, cinnamon, sweet and iconic Pringles shape? MmmmmWAH chef’s kiss.
- Cinnamon Toast Crunch Sweetos
Sweetos are already approaching Cinnamon Toast Crunch territory, so these truly fit the description of a “Cinnamon Toast Crunch collab product that should exist already.” Sweetos are basically just sweet, cinnamon-sugar Cheetos that have a cult following due to the fact that they are, apparently, very delicious. Slap some CTC IP on there and you capture not only the Sweetos lovers, but the Sweetos-curious CTC lovers as well (so, all of them). Not only is this a missed marketing opportunity, I think these would actually taste so frickin’ good. Sweetos have the iconic texture of a Cheeto puff, while CTC has the iconic cinnamon sugar flavor everyone loves. Put ‘em together and I do believe we would make some magic, miss General Mills ma’am.
- Mexican Hot Chocolate Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Chocolate Toast Crunch exists. Fuego Cinnamon Toast Crunch exists. Add some little marshmallow bits and you’ve got yourself a Mexican Hot Chocolate Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Spicy, chocolatey, cinnamon-y, marshmallow-y, talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it. Just a few words I (and potentially Lady Gaga) would use to describe this collab if General Mills ever decided to release this. In other words, I’d buy the shit out of this.
- CTC Snyders Pretzel Pieces
Lastly, some Cinnamon Toast Crunch Snyders Pretzel pieces. We all know (and wholeheartedly love) Snyder’s Honey Mustard & Onion Pretzel Pieces. They pack more honey mussy flavor per square inch than even the most flavor-blasted snacks. To be clear, this is the correct amount of flavoring powder and other snack brands could really learn from them, is all I’m sayin’. Now imagine that amount of flavor but instead of honey mustard and onion, its sweet, sweet Cinnamon Toast Crunch flavor, along with a hint of salt and the uniquely satisfying crunch of pretzel pieces. My lord, the world may just explode if this perfection emerged from the inky ether that is CPG development land. But I’m willing to take that risk, General Mills and Snyder’s. Bring on the CTC Pretzel Pieces!
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!