Oreo really does come out with new flavors, like, every other day. This April they are supposedly set to release a new Blackout Cake flavor, which will be super similar to their Ultimate Chocolate flavor, which closely resembled their Dark Chocolate flavor, which was a spitting image of their no-longer-available Mississippi Mud Pie flavor. You get the point. They keep making these teeny changes and then calling it a new thing. My colleague Jordan Myrick even wrote an article telling them to stop. But if they must keep creating new Oreo flavors, they might as well be flavors that are appealing, interesting, and not annoyingly similar to flavors that already exist. So, Oreo, I have some suggestions for ya below. Get in your Oreo innovation boat and set a course for Flavortown.
- Black Sesame
I mean, there is no world in which this wouldn’t be delicious and there really isn’t anything like it at the moment. Sure, there are tons of peanut-related Oreo iterations, but black sesame is a different, toastier, deeper flavor. Plus, the creme would be gray and that’s metal as hell.
- Mexican Hot Chocolate
I. Want. This. To. Be. A. Thing. Imagine a normal cocoa cookie and then three different layers of creme: marshmallow, dark chocolate, and cinnamon-cayenne. I would buy the heck out of these Oreos. Even if those flavors were combined into one Double Stuf layer of creme? I’m 1,000% in. I think one of these dipped in warm milk might just be the most perfect thing to ever happen on this earth.
- Bomb Pop
I know, I know, WHAT?! And I hear that, I really do. It’s just that Oreo’s Fourth of July flavor needs a lil overhaul. For a while now, the gimmick has been white creme with flavorless pop rocks in it, and I think a triple creme Oreo with red, white, and blue layers that taste like cherry, blue raspberry, and lemonade would make the most patriotic Oreo even more classically American: big, bold, and a little obnoxious.
- Black Forest
Tell me this flavor wouldn’t be insanely good. If Oreo could nail a creme with that dark, tart, Maraschino-y cherry pie filling flavor without going all cough syrup on us, and then finish it off with a classic cocoa cookie, oh my lord, someone grab the Victorian-era fainting couch, because I just might swoon. And blow all my money on Oreos while passed out on said couch.
- Peaches and Cream
I think this would be delicious. I’m talkin’ a graham crackery, vanilla-y cookie (like the one from the Neapolitan Oreo last summer), and then a layer of vanilla peach creme in the middle. Simple as that. And for the peaches and cream flavor, what I’m picturing is (and I realize this is a deep cut) something like the flavor of those Peaches N’ Cream Yoplait Whips I occasionally had in my lunch as a small child. Can anyone relate? Was I the only person who ate those and that is why they are no longer around? Let me know in the comments.
- Sharp Cheddar and Fig
Okay, okay, hear me out: cheddar baked into the cookie so that it is sweet and savory and umami and has little rivers of darker-looking cheesy parts. Then the crème is fig flavored, like Fig Newton filling meets classic Oreo creme. Finally, an excuse to put Oreos on your charcuterie board (as if you weren’t doing that already, you party animal, you). Alternative option: honey-flavored cookies with an aged cheddar savory creme, kind of like the cheesy filling in Ritz Bits but slightly sweet. I just want an excuse to put Oreos on fancy cheese platters—is that too much to ask?
(Note: I was going to unironically include Blue Raspberry on this list, but I think I am the only person in the world who wants this. It’s okay, though; I still snuck it in there with the bomb pop. All is right in the world.)