We all know that sandwiches are better with chips. In my mind, there is no sandwich that couldn’t benefit from the addition of a crunchy wisp of potato—ice cream sandwiches included. So why not cut out the middlemen (the bread, meat, spreads, etc.) and create sandwich flavored chips?
Lay’s knows what I’m talking about. They already make a limited edition BLT-flavored chip, and the company previously offered a grilled cheese and tomato soup-flavored chip, as well as a Reuben-flavored chip. Pringles also offered a limited time Reuben chip (or crisp or compressed potato snack—whatever they legally have to call it). What I’m saying is that sandwich-flavored chips are not as outlandish as some may think. So, all I’m asking is for a chip company (or a compressed potato snack company) to create one of my sandwich-flavored chip pitches. For all you flavor scientists out there, here’s what I’d like to see on the shelves:
- Tuna Salad
Tuna fish (as in canned tuna fish) is a natural pair for potato chips. Obviously with a tuna salad sandwich, you need the crunch, you need the salt. But tuna casserole is also better topped with potato chips. Even a basic tuna salad is better with potato chips. Therefore, by the symmetric property, potato chips are better with tuna fish. So let’s get some of that fishy flavor into a chip, along with some dried celery flavoring, some onion, and maybe a hint of rye to mimic the bread. There you go, Lay’s, I did most of the flavor engineering work for you.
- Oyster Po’Boy
Let’s keep going with the seafood thing. Lay’s already tackled the lobster roll with a limited edition chip, so let’s try another coastal regional specialty: the fried oyster po’boy. Here’s what I’m picturing: a ridged chip (to mimic the craggy fried oyster texture), some mayo tang, a hint of oceanic salinity, and the slightest touch of tomato-y sweetness (because I’ve never had a po’boy made with an actually ripe tomato). Let’s make a spicy version, too, with a hit of Crystal Hot Sauce flavoring. Laissez les bons chips roulez.
As long as we’re in NOLA, why not make a muffaletta chip? Dill pickle chips took off, so we could build on that with an olive-flavored chip with a soupcon of a meaty melange. Home run. Plus, it would be a lot less messy than the original sandwich and wouldn’t take you a week to eat.
Say it with me: Breakfast chips. Breakfast chips! Breakfast CHIPS! Home fries and hash browns are perfectly acceptable morning fuel. So, all I’m saying is to slice the potatoes slightly (okay, a lot) thinner and fry them up in a little (okay, a lot) more oil, and then let me eat chips for breakfast—especially chips flavored like the king of all morning sandwiches, the bacon, egg, and cheese. Egg flavored chips are nothing new—salted egg chips are all the rage right now. So take those, add some salty, smoky bacon flavoring and a little powdered cheese in the mix, and you have yourself a breakfast chip fit for even the snobbiest of breakfast sandwich eaters (*cough* New Yorkers *cough*).
- Hot Dog
Yeah, that’s right. I’m burying this controversial stance in a listicle about chip flavors. I do think a hot dog is a sandwich and not just because I work for a company that produces a podcast called that. Let’s quickly move past that argument and get into the flavoring. First of all, it would include ketchup, because ketchup belongs on a hot dog. I don’t want to hear it, Chicago. Next, a little bit of sweet relish flavor. So far, we’re tapping into flavors that have proven to be successful in the chip world. Then, a little bit of mustard—something the packaged pretzel companies are very familiar with. I assume the chip companies can just pop on by the neighbor’s pretzel factory to borrow a cup of mustard flavoring. Next up, onions. Easy. Finally, meat, which can be approximated with a little liquid smoke because obviously I’m talking about a grilled hot dog—not one of those sad, boiled bobbers. Ta-da! Hot dog chip!
Lay’s, the ball is now in your court. Consider this piece my official submission to whatever contest you run next. All I ask for in return is a lifetime supply of sandwich chips and a small (okay, not so small) cut of the profits.
Have a better idea for a sandwich-flavored chip? Let us know about it in the comments!