I don’t know if you can relate, but sometimes I feel like, in the words of Julia Roberts, just a grill standing in front of a grill, asking that grill what I should grill. In other words, I don’t know what to grill this summer. But fear not, grill daddies and mommies of the world, in this here list we present what you should grill this summer based on your zodiac sign. And seeing as we haven’t steered you wrong yet, why not give the classic grill delicacy of your birth month a go? (If you want more grilling suggestions, we have plenty.)
Aries: Hot Dogs
Aries are always up for a challenge and usually come out on top. One could even call them the ~top dogs~ of the zodiac signs. What is the top most popular thing to grill? Hot dogs, my dudes. Also, hot dog eating contests are a thing, and for a competitive group of folks like the Aries crowd, these ballpark staples can provide everything from sustenance to entertainment to competition.
Grilled chicken is so McFrickin’ versatile. You can glaze it with BBQ sauce, sure, but you can also marinate the chicken overnight in Italian dressing. You can soak it in yogurt and spices, you can dry rub it down with a spice mix from anywhere in the world. You can smoke it long and low and then grill it up. Heck, you can even cook it plain and flavorless and (say it with me) GET. THOSE. MACROS. Tauruses are great at remaining grounded and stable even when tossed into a number of different potentially tumultuous contexts. They are the grilled chicken of people, and I mean that with love.
Geminis are outgoing, sensitive, and just a liiiiiiiiiitle bit, erm, outside of the box sometimes. Well, you know what else is outside of the box? Grilled pineapple. It’s sweet, sour, warm, soft, and complex, just like you, Geminis.
Related: The Best Pineapple Juice You Can Buy
G’day, Cancers! Yes, I am indeed encouraging you to thruhr sim shreemp on the bahbie. And, yes, I know this is simplistic but, hey man, crabs is shellfish and so is shrampies. That’s just science. Also, on a less sciency note, Cancers are fiercely loyal and grilling shrimp is an exercise in loyalty, as you have to stand by the grill the whole time they are cooking because if you walk away for even three seconds they overcook and get rubbery and then everyone is sad. (Also, happy birthday, Cancer babies!)
Related: What to Eat with Shrimp
Leos are all about dramatic flair and there is nobody more central or beloved at a cookout than the human flippin’ the burgers. You want that love and attention, Leos? Just know that, a.) you probably already have it because you’re great like that, but b.) if you want more, go get some burgers (or veggie burgers!) and flip ‘em for your friends.
Virgos are perfectionists and, boy, can it be difficult to not overcook salmon on the grill. But I’m callin’ it now: if anyone can do it, it’s the Virgos. They’ve read up on this, they know their stuff, and they are going to be as meticulous as possible to make sure that expensive hunk of fish comes out absolutely restaurant quality. Everyone preemptively thank your Virgo friends for cooking you a delicious and perfect grilled salmon meal this summer.
Libras are all about balance, harmony, and making sure everyone gets the justice they deserve. Well, I say everyone deserves to try grilled apricots at some point in their life, because gosh darn if they aren’t one of the most balanced and complex grilled fruits out there. Apricots on their own can be pretty hit or miss (although good apricots are FIRE), but throw those puppies on the grill, ripe or not, and, oh my god, they hit you with that one-two (3,4,5) punch of sweet, sour, caramelized, slightly umami, and warm. Ugh, fantastic. Everybody needs to try this but especially Libras.
Related: The Best Desserts for the Grill
Scorpio: Beyond Bratwurst
Scorpios are mysterious and so is Beyond Bratwurst. For example, what are they thinking? Why did they do that? What is in their ingredient list and how do they taste exactly like bratwurst while not being even remotely made of meat (that last one only applies to the food not the Scorpios)? But, in this case, it matters not how the sausage gets made; it’s just a great vegan alternative to bratwurst and a passionate, oft-misunderstood friend who you can count on to cook a vegetarian option for their ~mysterious~ Scorpio cookout.
Sagittariuses are fire signs, and what is the first food you associate with fire? S’mores, baybee! Also, Sagittariuses are spontaneous, and s’mores are a great collaborative cooking activity that you may just have all the ingredients for already without even having to plan ahead.
Related: 5 Ways to Make the Ultimate S’Mores
Capricorn: Baby Back Ribs
Capricorns are known for their patience and perseverance, and, gawd, does it take forever to make some good, fall-off-the-bone baby back ribs. Yeah, you could go buy those pre-packaged Lloyd’s racks of ribs (which I grew up on and love dearly), but for a true Capricornian experience you gotta rub ’em down with spices, wait like 400 hours, and then cook them nice and slow. These are truly for the people who can stick with a task and see it all the way through to the end. Capricorns? Y’all are the best. We need more of ya.
It’s the utter chaos for me.
Related: The Best Marshmallows for S’mores
Pisces: Marinated Veggie Skewers
Pisces are optimistic, empathetic, and romantic, and please don’t ask me why I think this, but veggie skewers are just the cutest little romantic treat. All the little marinated veggies in a little rainbow on a little stick, and you can cheers with your bestie or s/o and just live your best life at a little tiny outdoor table with a little tiny candle on it. Have I overthought this scenario a bit? Yes. Do I stand by this choice? Absolutely.