Here’s Which Grocery Aisle You Are Based on Your Zodiac Sign

Have you ever wandered through the grocery store with your best friend and/or lover and wondered which of the myriad aisles fits your energy the best? No? Well, I bet you are wondering now, and we’re ready to reveal what grocery store aisle or section matches your unique vibe based on your zodiac sign. So grab a cart, a disinfectant wipe, and those reusable canvas bags that have never once been washed, and then get in, loser, because we’re going (grocery) shopping.

Aries (March 21-April 19): Chips and Snacks

grocery aisle zodiac aries

If we were ranking grocery store aisles, let’s be real, the snack aisle would be number one, and, hoo boi, does an Aries love to win. Not only that, but people generally like Aries folks, and I can honestly say that not once in my entire young adult life have I heard of a person who doesn’t generally like (if not absolutely love) the chip aisle.

Read our ranking of the best potato chips

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Bakery

grocery aisle zodiac taurus

Tauruses are cozy. They are comforting. And what is more comforting than grocery store bakery-made cookies, cakes, pastries, and breads? There are very few times in my life when a grocery store bakery muffin could not singlehandedly start my day off on the right foot, and the same goes for seeing my Taurus friends.

Read our rankings of the best grocery store muffins and the best Costco bakery items

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Freezer Aisle

grocery aisle zodiac gemini

Where else can you make one stop and pick up both Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia and Birds Eye lima beans? Nowhere, that’s where. Similarly, where else can you find two very different personality traits in one very chaotic human? Nowhere but Gemini town, baybee! In the freezer aisle, you never know what you are going to get and the possibilities are pretty endless—that’s why this one has to be Geminis.

Read our rankings of the best frozen pizzas and the best ice cream

Cancer (June 21-July 22): Dairy

grocery aisle zodiac cancer

Okay, I know the dairy aisle sounds kind of boring at first, but then you remember this is where the cheese is located and suddenly the game? Oh, she’s changed. All that is to say, Cancers will surprise you. They are giving “dairy section” upon first impression, but by the end of your first discussion, they have graduated to those travel-sized Tillamook cheese squares and you will never look back. Keep your Cancer friends around always. And also travel-sized Tillamooks.

Read our rankings of the best cheese and the best yogurt

Leo (July 23-August 22): Produce

grocery aisle zodiac leo

Hear me out: The produce section is the most vibrant, varied, expensive, and visually stunning part of the store. It’s often the first part of the store you hit when you walk in. Similarly, Leos often fancy themselves “vibrant, varied, and expensive,” and hey, most of the time they are right. Leos are a whole different vibe from the rest of this crazy grocery store that we call life, and I respect the hustle.

Virgo (August 23-September 22): Cereal and Granola Bars

grocery aisle zodiac virgo

Virgos are organized. They like things to make logical sense and for related items in a store to be placed together. That said, welcome, Virgos, to the one-stop shop for all things breakfast, not to mention beautifully organized rows of colorful cereal boxes to whet your appetite for order. Plus, Virgos are always busy and this aisle usually has instant oatmeal in it, too. This matchup was literally meant to be.

Read our rankings of the best cereal and the best granola

Libra (September 23-October 22): Baking and Spices

grocery aisle zodiac libra

Libras love balance. Spices make balance happen. I hold that Avatar Aang wouldn’t have (spoilers) defeated the Firelord and restored balance to the world without spices. They just don’t show that part in the series because they wanted the animated kids show to be “entertaining” and about “martial arts” and “character growth” or whatever instead of 23.383 straight hours of well-seasoned cookery.

Read our rankings of the best Trader Joe’s seasonings and the best pancake mix

Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Paper Towels, Shampoo, and Cat Treats

grocery aisle zodiac scorpio

Scorpios are hard to read, and you know what else is hard to suss out? What exactly is in those weird middle aisles of the grocery store. They have everything Target has somehow and, yet, you would never even know any of it was there if you didn’t look. Turns out most grocery stores have more than just groceries and it took me the better part of a quarter century to figure that out. Similarly, I’m still figuring out Scorpios, too.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Deli

grocery aisle zodiac sagittarius

The deli is where they keep all of the cool cheese. The ones you put on your charcuterie boards. The ones that make your friends say, “You spent WHAT on cheese?” But that also means there are a bunch of weird, cool, and interesting cheeses and meats to try. As the most curious and knowledge-seeking of the signs, Sagittarians can go to the deli section to choose their own adventure and try something new.

Read our rankings of the best cheddar cheese and the best deli turkey 

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Checkout Line Shelves

grocery aisle zodiac capricorn

Need gum? Well, you kind of have to wait until the end of your grocery trip to get it because, guess what? It is only by the checkout, along with Mentos, two or three flavors of Altoids, and at least five other shoppers because only one lane is open for some reason. But if you are like me and you always forget the things at the end of your grocery trip, you probably aren’t a Capricorn. They have the patience and maturity to wait the whole trip and then remember at the end to grab what they need. Let’s face it, Capricorns, like Miss Taylor Swift, are mother.

Read our ranking of the best candy bars

Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Eggs

grocery aisle zodiac aquarius

Name any other section of the grocery store that compares, I’ll wait…

See? You can’t. Eggs are iconic. Eggs are not like the other girls and they know it. Eggs are game changers. Also and perhaps most importantly, I love eggs. I am an Aquarius. What more do you need?!

Pisces (February 19-March 20): Breads and Jams and Nut Butters

grocery aisle zodiac pisces

Pisces are the most romantic and whimsical of the signs and this is potentially the most romantical aisle of the store. You can traipse through with your s/o like the main character of an indie movie, grab a jar of PB and a jar of jelly while walking backwards and say, “Look babe, we go together like these two jars of food!” Or if your s/o is allergic to PB, you can sub in the “jam and bread” combo—it works just as well. Plus, according to dame Julie Andrews, I’ve heard that combo goes well with Ti—a very romantic note.

Read our rankings of the best peanut butter and the best strawberry jam

About the Author

Jessica Block

Jessica Block is a freelance contributor to Sporked, a comedian, a baker, a food writer, and a firm believer that Trader Joe's may just be the happiest place on earth. She loves spicy snacks, Oreos, baking bread, teeny tiny avocados, and trying new foods whenever she can. Also, if you give her a bag of Takis she will be your best friend.

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