We Tried Crumbl’s New Chocolate Cola Brownie – It’s Complicated

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In honor of Crumbl’s Dirty Soda menu going nationwide (alongside a voucher for a free 12oz Dirty Soda hitting the inboxes of all Crumbl rewards members–check the app for details), this week’s Crumbl lineup is entirely soda-themed. As someone wholly dedicated to covering soda and soda accessories in my personal life, I dusted off my official Crumbl cookie cutter and coordinated a sample order with the Crumbl team. They were nice enough to send over all six of this week’s soda-inspired desserts; let’s kick things off with a review of the Chocolate Cola Brownie. Stay tuned for a second review from yours truly later this week.

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Crumbl Chocolate Cola Brownie Review
Crumbl Chocolate Cola Brownie

New Crumbl Brownie!

Pros: This is a generously-sized, decadent chocolate-iced brownie. The inclusion of chocolate chips gives this rich dessert a more interesting texture, even if popping candy would have been more in the spirit of the theme. (I cannot believe Crumbl’s lineup this week is 100% soda-inspired and there isn’t a single offering with popping candy.)

Cons: This is a tricky situation. Crumbl’s Chocolate Cola Brownie is a solid brownie, but there’s no world where I could determine it is cola-flavored without being told first. There’s definitely a flavor note that isn’t in a classic brownie, but it just isn’t bright enough to be distinguishable. Say what you will about Cracker Barrel; their Coca-Cola Chocolate Cake is definitely closer to the goalposts than this Crumbl offering.

A good brownie that poorly executes the stated objective is a tough treat to score, y’all.

Credit: Griffin Parker / Crumbl

Rating:

6.5/10

Sporks

What else is on Crumbl’s soda-inspired menu this week?

Alongside this Chocolate Cola Brownie I have complicated feelings about, there are five other truly wild desserts in the “soda-inspired” genre being sold this week: Dirty Soda Tres Leches Cake (made with a quiver-inducing “dirty soda tres leches sauce”), the grenadine sugar-dusted Shirley Temple Cookie, the citrus-packed, strawberry-topped Pink Berry Cookie, the chocolate-cola-vanilla-lemon miasma that is the Nilla Bean Float Cookie, and the candy-topped Peach Ring Cookie. Call me crazy, but very few of those scream “soda” to me. The dirty soda inspiration is clear, that’s for sure, but where are the base sodas really being represented?

My dream soda-inspired lineup looks very different from this; Crumbl, take notes ahead of Soda Week 2027. Let’s keep the solid Shirley Temple Cookie alongside a few new ideas: Coca-Cola OREO Chocolate Cake, Pepper Soda Brownie, Lemon-Lime Gummy Glazed Cookie, a Cherry Cola Red Velvet Cookie, and a Cream Soda Sugar mini-pie. Have your people call my people so we can talk percentages.

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About the Author

Griffin Parker

Griffin Parker is a writer, "influencer" under the handle @SodaSeekers, and extraordinarily busy person based in Columbus, Ohio. He's sacrificed countless hours in the pursuit of ranking Lindt Lindor truffles, HI-CHEW candies, and more. When he's not writing for Sporked, you can find Griffin espousing the virtues of Dayton-style pizza, Cincinnati-style chili, and Dolly Parton's Fabulously Double Fudge Brownie Mix.

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